I lie, you lie, we all lie. If you’re saying to yourself as you read this that you don’t lie – then you just lied.
Get over yourself.
It’s not okay to lie as Pinocchio taught us all as small children. But the truth is your nose won’t grow and YOU WILL GET EATEN ALIVE in the real world if you don’t learn to do it correctly. So what I’m saying is – it is okay, even necessary, to lie in certain situations. It’ll get where you want to go, you can protect people’s feelings (including your own), and it makes your stories more interesting. Just don’t be a jerk and lie in critical or immoral situations. I’m not your mom – you know the situations I’m talking about.
How to Be a Good Liar:
1. Tell the story, but leave out minor details. It sounds cooler. For example, say that you “work” at whatever establishment…don’t mention that you’re still an intern.
2. Wear the right clothes to get the body you want. Padded bras, padded underwear, high heels, corsets, etc. Its cheaper than plastic surgery. Try Tibi Amber Heels – they’re sophisticated, sexy and make your butt look great.
3. Roll your eyes to the left as you lie. People who lie tend to look to the right, since the right side is the creative side of the brain.
4. Wear Blazers. No matter what you say – if you say it wearing a blazer people are 100 times more likely to believe you. Try the Naven Blazer in red to grab attention or SMYTHE Evening blazer in black to be cool.
5. Don’t hesitate or stutter. For obvious reasons
6. Leave no evidence. If you don’t want the people at work to know you ate the last doughnut you have to eat the ENTIRE doughnut.
7. Commitment. If you don’t want the people at work to know you ate the last doughnut you have to eat the ENTIRE doughnut.
8. Simplicity. If you go in to too much detail people will get suspicious.
9. Make sure you look pretty when you lie. Look at how disfigured and unattractive Disney villans are – Cruella, Jafar, Ursula. The Free People Rocco Lace Dress in black is a good option.
10. Only lie when necessary. Too many people get addicted to lying. You will make everyone hate you and lose all your friends.
Always remember if you get wrapped up in a lie and you’re struggling to stay afloat – the truth will always set you free. But you will lose the trust of others. Choose carefully and lie responsibly.